Unpublished: Less Than A Month

It lasted less than a month, you and I. Whatever we were. In an attempt to rid myself of feelings for another, I went searching. But I wasn't searching for you. You were like the prize in the cereal box of my childhood memories. There, a surprise, something that I had been made aware of, but was hesitant to get my hopes up.

It happened in mere hours, this new relationship. Platonic or romantic, that was left to be discovered. We chatted for hours. Life, hobbies, music, etc. The time seemed to fly by. Daily exchanges of good night and good morning texts.

It happened once, us meeting. I remember that it wasn't weird. Two strangers talking for hours, exchanging inside jokes as if we'd been friends forever. You swirled your water as if it were wine. Had I made you nervous? Swapping stories of families and embarrassing moments, the time came to part ways.

It happened in a span of a few weeks. We began to fall into a routine of our own. Witty banter and sarcastic jabs. Gifs and emojis. It almost happened effortlessly. Like two people whom were comfortable in their ways.

It happened in an instant. The night you told me. Told me about her. My heart sank into my chest, but I wasn't quite sure why. We had no real ties to one another. You weren't mine. I wasn't yours. I even thought you liked me more than I you. I was convinced that I had no romantic feelings for you. But as I told you, "Feelings occur. Shit happens. It'll be fine." All at once I was immersed into a variety of feelings. Maybe it was the melancholy soundtrack that accompanied the moment that led me to such emotions, but they were there and they were relevant. And even now, I'm confused. I swore you liked me. I think I was beginning to like you. And while yes, just shy of a month is a very small amount of time, but you understood how much of a romantic I am. You were beginning to get my weird sense of humor, and I yours.

It's occurring now. As I type. This weird sense of sorrow. It shouldn't have caused this much pain. This much wallowing. But maybe that's just it. Maybe I'm not wallowing about you. Maybe I was searching for a reason to wallow. To feel self pity and shame, embarrassment rather. I needed a cleansing cry. A moment to get in-touch with my feelings and be vulnerable.

Thank you for that.
Thank you for sharing with me that little bit of time.
Thank you for allowing me to be vulnerable.
Thank you & farewell.