23 Lessons Learned in 23 Years.

23 Lessons Learned in 23 Years.

(Cliches & Mantras Used By Yours Truly)

Seeing as I turned 23 this past weekend, it felt only natural to share a list of 23 lessons that I've learned over the past 23 years of life.

...

1. Be yourself. Love yourself. 
   Fall in love with yourself, your quirks, your guilty pleasures. Embrace them. People will either like you, or they won't, don't worry about it. If you love yourself, others will take note.
2. Surround yourself with people who will help bring out the best in you, and you the best in them. 
   Life is too short to deal with negativity from your friend circle. Surround yourself with cool cats who appreciate you and your likes, people who won't judge you or make you feel guilty. Hang out with folks who you can relax with, and they'll be able to open up to you -- it'll feel natural and effortless. Enjoy that.
3. Life is a bitch. Use precaution, and go forth. 
   I wish I could say that life is peachy keene, jelly bean, but I'd be mistaken. Life is hard. No one said it wouldn't be. But the rumors are true, if you remain positive, and put things in perspective, you'll survive. Good luck.
4. Collect moments, not things. 
   I'm all about the moments. Realize that you are living -- right now. Don't worry too much about tomorrow, or five years from now, live for today. Enjoy the little things in life, it'll make all the difference.
5. Decide what to be and go be it. 
   Yes, The Avett Brothers may have sang this, but I believe it. Be passionate in all that you do. Don't let others tell you that you can't accomplish your goals. Work for what you want, be confident in your choices.
6. Music is there for you no matter what. 
   Music is my religion. Maybe yours is people, or sports, or something else. Find out what it is that truly makes you happy and helps you feel understood. Music is there for me, it helps to be the soundtrack for my life each and everyday.
7. People will come and go from your life. It's natural. 
   You will lose people in your life. Whether it's from a passing, or just a falling-out, it'll happen. You'll mourn the loss, you'll miss them, but you'll move on. Remember the good times you were able to share with them, try not to hang onto any ill feelings about them.
8. Dating, much like most things in life, makes zero sense.
   There's no formula for love, or life, for that matter. Dating applications can only help so much. Embrace the idea of getting to know someone. Their likes, dislikes, their family, real aspects of them. It may work out, it may not. Recognize when you have a real connection with someone, and try to hold onto that.
9. Writing helps sooth the soul. 
   Even if you're not a writer, sometimes it just takes getting the words out on paper to help you through something. Write a letter to your ex about how you feel, you don't have to give it to them. Journal about that family issue, it'll help to relieve the stress. Jot something down on a napkin just to get it out. For me, blogging and journaling help me release built-up emotion. Get it out, you'll feel better.
10. Fashion fades, style remains. Wear what you want. 
    Who cares what the latest fashion trends are. Wear what you feel good in. Pull pieces from your grandmothers wardrobe, piece them with your own finds, it'll be different, it'll be your own. If you want to wear that hat, or that jacket, or that skirt -- go for it! Everyone has their own style, showcase it.
11. Communication is key. 
    No matter the relationship -- professional, platonic, romantic -- communication is necessary. Emails, texts, snapchats, those are great, but don't forget about the simplicity and pure communication of a face-to-face conversation. Express how you're feeling, let people know when you're confused, it'll help the relationship.
12. Time flies when you don't give a shit. 
    Take each day as a new opportunity. Don't stress too much. Don't over-plan. Go with the flow, chill out and take a deep breath. You'll feel more relaxed and have time for yourself and your interests.
13. Feelings occur, shit happens, I'll be fine. All feelings are valid. 
    This is something I've more recently adopted into my mantras. No matter how you're feeling, it is valid. Do not let someone tell you otherwise. You may fall for someone, they may fall for someone else, you'll be crushed, but you'll move on. Feelings don't always fade overnight. This one can be a harder lesson to learn.
14. C'est la vie… or something like that.
    Seize the day. Have fun. Chill out. Sing at the top of your lungs. Dance in public. Talk to that cutie at the bar. If you really like those shoes, buy them. Binge watch Netflix. Do what you want.
15. Never change yourself for someone else.
    Embrace your individuality. Do not adapt yourself to fit the stereotype of what you think society wants you to be. We're all different. When in a relationship, remain true to yourself. Do not pretend to like something because you think they'll like you more. Don't starve yourself for someone else. If you want to change, do it on your own terms, for your own betterment. Do not let a romantic partner change you -- remember your friends, family, career, goals, hobbies, etc.
16. The really great moments are when the world winks in your direction.
    You may be thinking the universe is against you, and just like that, something really great will happen. Maybe you go down a pant size, maybe that job opportunity finally arrived, maybe that cute barista gave you a free drink, whatever it may be -- enjoy it. Life will serve you some hard times, be aware of the tokens of awesomeness that come your way too!
    
17. Be honest. Say what's on your mind. 
    A very recent thing for me. I'm all about the honesty. I went 22 years being nice, not saying everything that was on my mind, not admitting my feelings for someone -- then, one day, something changed -- I decided to be real. I will now go up to the cute guy in the corner and tell him that I like his style, because, why not? I will text you randomly telling you my appreciation for you as a friend. I will let you know how I feel about your new boo. I will also know when to keep my mouth shut, as to not hurt any one's feelings or as to not get myself into too much trouble. There is a fine balance here.
18. Embrace your natural beauty. 
    I have big, wavy, frizzy hair. It took years for me to embrace that. I wanted short, straight hair. Now, my hair is how people find me in a crowd, and I'm okay with that. It doesn't matter if you're 4'11", or 6'2", you're a babe. It doesn't matter if your a size 2 or a size 22, you're a babe. Embrace your look, master your look, love your look. Freckles, glasses, large feet -- whatever it may be, you make that shit look good!
19. Originality is breathtaking. 
    Know who you are. Have your own ideas. Do not copy off of someone else to get attention. Like what you like, don't like what you don't. Posses a passion, share that passion with others, it'll make people swoon. Be original in thought, style, hobbies, etc. Don't cater to the idea of what you think others will think is "cool." Individuality is cool.
20. Family is there for you, no matter what. 
    At the end of the day, you know it's alright to veg out on the couch in your sweats with your family. They may get on your nerves from time to time. They may not be the coolest of cools, but they're your family. Extensions of who you are and where you came from. Learn to embrace that. They've got your back no matter what. Plus, they'll be there with the ice cream when you need to wallow. (Gilmore Girls, anyone?)
21. Coffee, much like pizza, is good no matter what the hour.
    I love pizza. Always have, always will. It's been one of my main food groups for as long as I can remember. I'm always prepared to eat pizza, without a doubt. Coffee, on the other hand, became an acquired taste. I always loved the smell, and when I got older, I was comforted by coffee shops. I don't care if it's 7:00a.m., 3:30p.m., or 4:00a.m. I can drink coffee whenever. The warmness soothes my soul, and helps me feel happy. Call me weird, I don't care. Sometimes I'll opt for the soy chai, but there's something so perfect about going to a diner at 3 in the morning, reflecting on the night out with your friends, and drinking copious amounts of coffee.
22. Take a step back. Recharge. 
    Whether you're an introvert or an extrovert, or somewhere in between. I find myself needing to recharge more and more these days. I love networking, being around people, and just socializing. But there are days or just brief moments where I need time to chill out, recharge, and be quiet for a bit. Give yourself some time to yourself, then get back to your day. This could be in the morning, when you need your coffee and newspaper. Or this could be a night where you go off the grid, and just need some time to yourself. It's important to not burn yourself out. Whether it's with a project at work, a relationship, or socializing. Take a moment to step back. Relax. Refresh. Recharge.
23. No one knows what the hell they're doing. We're human. 
    In today's day and age, it's easy to hop onto social media and see the endless amounts of posts about new jobs, engagements, etc. Do not compare yourself to others. Your successes are just as important as other people's successes. Remember that. We're all human, we all make mistakes. Who cares if your old pal moved to Europe and you're in your hometown. That's great for them, but aren't you happy too? Everyone is trying to figure out their next move, everyone puts on their pants one leg at a time. We're all confused when it comes to life. Fake it 'til you make it, if you have to. Just remember that you are the creator of your legacy. You make your own choices. Yes, there will be some bumps in the road on the journey of life, but that's expected. If you ask others about where they'll be in 5 years, more than likely, they'll also pause and not know. Go with it. Take it day by day. 

...

I'm no expert on life, trust me, but I've learned a thing or two, especially since post-grad. All we can do is put a smile on and go with the flow. Some lessons have to be taught again, some get adapted, but for the most part it's all about becoming your best self and enjoying your life. As I always say: live it, love it, caress it. 

Different.

And that's when I realized that my family was different. 

As I scrolled through the countless images of families dressed in pastels. Baskets in hand. Bonnets on heads. 

I realized what I wanted. 

I wanted to feel love. 

It all makes sense. 

My family, we love each other. But we don't express it as others do.  

We don't go on family vacations. No family dinners. No trips to the lake, like we used to. 

I want that. 

I want an extended family. In-laws. Cousins. Nieces. Nephews. 

I wanted to share and experience in love. 

Every holiday comes and goes, we'll get gifts for a split second, revel in each others company over a meal, and then it's off our separate ways. To the living room for television. Escaping to the internet to see what others were doing. And yard work or dishes for the parentals. 

Maybe this is why I'm so hesitant to love, but so eager at the same time. 

I know what I want, but I've never had the chance to partake. 

And that's the scary part. 

What happens when I do? 

Will I leach on. Run away. Or just play it coy, like I always do. 

I love love. I just can't bring myself to say it out loud.

Yes, I'm a hopeless romantic. I dream of the day that someone will feel for me the way that I feel for them. 

It may not be a sparks fly moment, like they show in movies, but a girl can dream. 

I just want to feel. 

Ya know?

Life passes us by. Day by day.

We're constantly drudging along, floating by, looking forward to the future. But what about the present?

My family doesn't understand why I'm so hellbent on the idea of one day falling in love. 

But the truth is -- I've never fallen in love. With a human being. 

Therefore, I don't know what I'm missing out on. 

It's terrifying. Knowing there's a feeling that pretty much the entire world has felt at some point in their lives, sometimes multiple times.

And I have not. 

I fall in love with characters. These ideas and concepts of people in books, movies, shows, songs, and more. And maybe that's why I dream up the characters of my ideal mate. 

He'll understand my love for music, my nervous habit of licking my teeth, the way that I'd rather spend hours at concerts or coffee shops than at the mall. How Momma Autumn is my best friend. And how I've been collecting postcards for the majority of my life, but I cannot honestly tell you where most of them are stashed around my house. 

He'll get that. 

And I'll get him. 

But I don't get to experience that. Not right now. 

And that's seriously okay. It's just heartbreaking sometimes. 

Especially around holidays. 

As friends and their families take photos and partake in their traditions. 

I sit. 

In my room. 

Benge watching television shows and romantic comedies. 

That's my life. 

I'm living it. 

But I'm also praying and hoping for an ever loving future. 

And remember, it's okay to be different. This is what life is all about. 

I just can't wait to admit my love. 

A Tale of 'Never Been Kissed'

I've had the privilege of being published in my school's paper, check it out! 

The Northerner: A tale of 'never been kissed'

(p.s. it was in honor of Valentine's Day nearing, and as most of you know, this is real). 

A Tale of Autopilot Daydreams

Here's the thing about relationships -- much like physics, politics and sports -- I don't understand them.  Yes, I cannot learn from experience… well, because I'm lacking in that department.  The department of love and relationships.  Maybe not so much in love, for I know that love exists, and I know that I am too naive to feel this way just yet.  I love my family, I love my friends, collectively.  I am not close enough to most of them to actually love them, if that makes any sense.  I cherish the word "love."  It means too much to me to be thrown around in everyday language.  I adore TONS of things and people.  I love music, I share a connection with it, it warms my soul, the lyrics transcend into medicine when I'm sad, and continually helps to provide the soundtrack to my life.  

I do fantasize about a prince charming who will whisk me away on his lawn mower, playing some sort of super-perfect song, thrusting his fist in the air, and then we'll skip through tall fields of grass, laying under a blanket of stars and confessing our deepest secrets.  It's a compilation of some of my most vivid dreams and scenes from various rom coms.  I can see all of these pieces of the puzzle falling into place, yet I have yet to figure out who my dream man will be.  And I've learned to be very patient.  I hold out hope that I'll see him on the street, brush into him at a concert, watch him walk into one of my favorite coffee shops, or perhaps he'll be at flipping through old blazers at the local Goodwill. It's untelling.  My dreams tell me that this guy is in my life already, and we share a connection that cannot be undone.  

And I know, I've wrote about this countless times before.  But seriously, I'm constantly learning about life, love and all those other lessons that life hands us along the way.

In recent events, I've been submerged into an immensely chill vibe.  Like, completely chill.  Almost to the point where I cannot concentrate on the various events happening around me.  I am longing for breaks in my day where I can casually write as I please, and warm my soul with music and chai tea.  I know I'm growing up, and maybe that has brought on this sudden change of mood.  I also know am aware that I am not depressed by any means.  Yet, when I try to describe this feeling of "autopilot," I sound dramatic and somewhat delusional.  That's not how it is.  Not at all. Let me try to put it into words...

As the day dwells on, I can feel the moments passing me by.  Slowly and reluctantly, I see images speed past me, people moving and living their everyday lives; while I sit (feeling as though I am) frozen in time.   This is not my declaration of depression.  I don’t think that’s my issue.  I think it’s a touch of senioritis, homesick-ness, allergies and a dash of the love bug.  I can feel my prioritizing getting tossed to the way-side.  Projects that should take me a mere hour or two drag on for days.  I can’t concentrate, sleep sounds splendid throughout the day, and then once I get home, I lack the desire to shut my lids.  Welcome to college?

I have been set to autopilot – simply drifting by, not actually living in the moments -- something I pride myself in.  I’m all about the moments!  Yet, here I sit, when I should be working, I blog.  All I want to do is curl up under my warm blankets, stare at the ceiling fan, drink warm tea, get lost in a trance of superb tunes, and write.  Ideally, I’d like to pause life around me – take a small break for myself, and scratch off some of the items on my to-do list.  But no, I do not have time for that.  I barely have time to eat lunch.  This is sad.  But this is life.

I envy the students who have ample amounts of time to spend watching Netflix, or who can take a stroll through the park.  Even during my times of unscheduled activities, a meeting pops up, an assignment has to get done, and it’s on to the next task.  I need some motivation.  I find myself daydreaming all too often. Doodling during class, planning for days down the road.  With songs constantly playing in my mind, I hum tunes to songs I've never heard of.  Images of past events drift into my imagination.  I’ve got it bad – Usher was right. 

And now, now that I am on a break from classes, I have been able to enjoy some of my hobbies that I used to revel in -- reading, writing, taking photos, painting, and simply soaking up the moments of being around my family.  Too often I toss these simple pleasure to the wayside, trying to make way for things that I've tried to make more important.  But that's not fair.  I must stop and smell the flowers, soak in the moments and embrace life.  And all those other cliches. 

As my "lasts" of college begin, I can feel myself separating myself from college, lunging forward into "real world" or "adult life."  I am in an awkward limbo of embracing and living in the moments of college, all while preparing myself for graduation and a career.  This is life, and this is where I am.  There's nothing wrong with this balance, it's just a little more than what I'm used to.  I'm taking on the ideas of life, moving, boys, various internships, work, school, and my involvement on and off campus.  The daydreaming swells all the while.  Longing to be apart of a "we," and not making time to appreciate the "me" that I currently am.  

And this is my life.  An infatuated, workaholic with a lot on her mind.  Balancing life, friends, school, work, and still managing to dab on a little lip color before heading out the door each morning.  As November nears, I miss my grandma more and more.  She'd understand my dilemmas and provide me with years of knowledge.  So here it is -- my thoughts compiled into one entry.  Somewhat random and all over the place, but hopefully helpful in the declaration of my over-thinking, constantly creative, yet chill vibe.  I've had a lot to think about recently, and this, as they say, is What's In Coco's Hair?. 

Peace,

Chanell 

What is something you've always wanted to do?

Some days are blessings, while others are filled with struggles. But each day I am thankful to be alive.  I cannot complain about the events leading to this point in my life... The chapters to my novel are not complete, and I have yet to reach the cliffhanger. 

And I'm okay with that. 

For each day is a new day, and I am up for the challenge (most days).

A few weeks ago, at work, we were encouraged to get to know the staff a little more by answering a question on a poster each day. The questions were "Why do you love music?" and "what is something you've always wanted to do?" without hesitation, I made my way to transcribe my answers.  Blank spaces were sparse on the music poster, while the something we've always wanted to do was very bare. 

When I read the question, I knew exactly what I've always wanted... Not a pony, or a mansion.  Not even a goose that lays golden eggs.  

I've always wanted to fall in love -- Maybe not like in the fairy tales, and maybe not like some cliche romance novel -- but I cannot wait for the day when I fall in love. 

Seeing as I'm 21 and single, this didn't seem strange to me. But as my 30's, 40's, 50's and even older coworkers glanced at the board, some were struck with awe, pity and amusement by my response. While no one knew that was my answer, I watched as the reactions came spilling in. They were feeling amusement by my lack of love, but also sadness that I had never fallen in love.  Is that not natural? 

I was confused. 

I have loved the ideas of many a things throughout my life... I have enjoyed moments, and I love my family. But I have never truly fallen in love. 

Maybe I should feel pity for myself, trust me, sometimes I do. But whatever the case may be... I want to fall in love.  With all my heart, butterflies-causing-chaos-in-my-stomach-kind-of-love.  

...

Although it may not happen tonight or tomorrow, maybe not next week or even a year from now... I look forward to the day that it happens.  It may be unexpected and unplanned, and I'm quite alright with that.  For as long as I can remember, I have longed for the day to come.  It will be a celebrated time in my life, and I cannot wait. Yes, I joke about the idea of seeing my future boyfriend walking through the door at Coffee Emporium, but maybe one day it will happen.  And maybe it will make all the difference. 

As they say, "love is a many splendid thing." 

First Encounter

He caught her stare far too long ago. It seems like years or decades, but it has only been a few short months.  He was gussied up in a suit and tie in the line of the local coffee shop.  The gentleman had a gaggle of girls within arms reach, yet he looked uninterested.  Writing material in hand, she wasn’t sure if he were real.  For she had only seen characters like him on the silver screen, or in drawn-up scenarios in her dreams.  Yes, he was a dream.  He had to be. 

She had to talk to him. This boy. This man. This guy whom had appeared out of no where.  She had frequented that shop so many times prior and had never seen his face.  Was he new to town?  Was he here on business? Or was he in fact a dream -- a figment of her overly-analyzing imagination. 

Yes, he was tall, mysterious, yet so full of life; with vibrant eyes and a charming smile.  With books in hand, she knew he was about to set in on a literary journey, conquer the world, or casually write the next Shakespearean play.  Who knows.  He was a man of adventure and lust as she could see it.  With his hair slicked back, grey pieces mixed to create a suit.  This man was polished.  He was poised.  He was dare we say it... perfect.   

She, an innocent girl standing in line to order a chai tea (most likely), and him, a handsome boy dressed to the nines.  She stood there in shock and utter embarrassment.  She could feel her mouth gaping and her heart stopping.  He had caught her stare.  Not for a moment, but for what felt like an eternity.  He was just the kind of person she’d been praying to stumble upon in one of these romantic-comedy-like scenarios.  And here it was, happening right then and there.

To her. Of all people. 

She doubted the encounter meant anything to him.  But she also knew this was her chance.  She was sure he got that all the time, but she had to talk to him. This guy. 

So, as he finished his order, she tapped his shoulder. 

...There it was, the first touch... 

He turned to look at her.  Time stood still.

She complemented his style... how she was able to utter words is still amazing.  He, in turn, complemented her outfit. Telling her he appreciated anyone who didn’t dress like everyone else.  

She was smitten.  

He had noticed her. 

They exchanged names.  And that was that.  

He was impossibly charming and she was taken back.  Never had she met someone who intimidated, yet mystified her in such a manner as he.  She had only hoped their paths would cross again. 

...

Months went by.  She hadn’t seen him for quite some time. She was sure he had moved.  He'd probably met the exotic love of his life and was sailing around the world at that very moment.  She could tell he had history about him.  He had some stories to tell, and she wanted to hear all of them.  She wanted to listen to old vinyl with him, drink coffee and discuss the dilemmas of the world.  She wanted to spend time with him and just sit in silence.  Taking on the world with one 80s film after another.  But that would never happen. 

Not for her. 

Months passed, and she kept that moment of their first encounter in her mind. She longed for a day when he’d want to sit down with her and talk. About everything and nothing. One of those kind of moments.  They'd drink tea in a crowded coffee shop and exchange stories of their travels and dreams.  

Until their paths cross again, she’ll hold onto that memory of the moment that he caught her stare in that coffee shop on that warm, summer day. 

We Accept The Love We Think We Deserve

Warning, I am about to be a girl and blog about my feelings while contemplating the actions of men.  Needless to say, you've been warned.

I may as well get this rant out of my system.
I think I'm cursed.

I know that I have developed this over analyzed, beautifully built-up image of what romance, friendships and people can be like -- I blame countless hours of reading John Green novels, or my admiration for John Hughes films.  Whatever the case may be... I'm missing something.  Most guys that I am friends with, it's cool... we're totally chill, we have similar interests; ie: music, movies, books, coffee, etc.  These guys usually end up being gay, or they end up never talking to me again.  I've said it once, I'll say it again... I'm cursed.

Let's take a little trip down memory lane.  On several occasions, I have come in contact with these normal, casual guys.  We're friends, it's totally chill.  I think they're cool, they have good taste in music, and their thoughts seem educated and meaningful.  Then all of a sudden, the texting stops.  The Facebook chats stop.  The random tweets stop (if they ever started).  And there's barely any social interaction at all. What gives?

I'd like to think of myself as a pretty "normal" gal.  Considering the philosophical question, of what really is normal?  I was on homecoming court. I went to prom.  I am 20 years old.  I'm in college.  Involved in a sorority.  I have plenty of friends.  I work with a local magazine and go to tons of events.  I love music.  I can take some mean photos, and I love social media.  I'd like to think I'm normal.  While I consider myself normal, I also am very unique.  I don't drink, or smoke, and am not promiscuous.   I like to read and write a lot.  I go to more concerts than I should.  And half of my wardrobe is from thrift stores, my grandma, or Goodwill.  I often times contemplate the meaning of life, and over analyze situations.  Sue me.  I wear glasses with no lenses, and have really big, long, wavy hair.  I laugh too loud, but it's always sincere.  I am passionate.  I'm genuine.  I have values, and I stick to them.  Does that make me different?  Is that scary?  Is it some sort of disease?

I have this theory that there's no way you can expect someone to love and understand you, if you can't love and understand yourself first.

It's taken me a while to really delve into this concept myself.  I'm not saying I'm the dating guru   I've actually never been on a date or had my first kiss, much less had an actual boyfriend.  Shocking?  I've been boy crazy for as long as I can remember... I remember chasing around the cutest boy in our kindergarten class on the playground.  We'd play house, and he'd always be my husband. SCORE.  As time went on, and boys caught up to my height, and then soon passed me up -- I often used the excuse that I was too busy for boys.  (keep in mind I'm inching near six foot, and boys didn't hit their growth spirt until middle school).  I was involved in basically every extracurricular and had a list of service hours a mile long.  I didn't have time for petty relationships.  As my gal pals would swoon over a new guy every few weeks in a vicious cycle, I would just sit by on the sidelines and watch.  My friends would often date these guys, causing me to be a third wheel when we'd hang out.  I'd get suckered into talking to the guys, kind of as a "wing girl."  --Maybe I watch too much How I Met Your Mother.  That's besides the point--  As my friends dated other guys, I'd end up being friends with the boys.  They were cool, and the girls would get too caught up in trying to be in a relationship.  With the labels and the love.  They were focused too much on the idea of the romance, instead of actually experiencing it.  They'd be head over heels in love with a guy, then they'd be on to the next one.  I don't know if this is true at other high schools, but I always felt like everyone just recycled gf's and bf's at our school.  Now, even in college it's rough.  There's just so many people roaming the campus.  We're all operating on different schedules and sleep patterns.  Some of us stay on campus all day, while others have jobs to work, or families to take care of.  With the use of social media, like facebook -- there really is no time to actually get to know someone.  

I resent the simpler times, the era before internet.  A time when we weren't consumed with social media, iPhones and YouTube.  A time when you actually had to pick up the phone to see what your friend in another city was doing.  Or better yet, when people wrote letters or sent postcards.  Maybe that explains my admiration of postcards.  There's something so simple and personal about a postcard.  Yet, today, all we have to do is snap a photo and send it through the inter-webs.   What happened to the times when people went out on dates?  Two people were brought together over a cup of coffee -- not to instagram it -- but to actually enjoy the company of another human being.  Things seemed so much more romantic a few decades ago.  People actually had to communicate. In person. Weird!  There was a time where two people had to have a conversation in order to find out their likes and interests.  As we enter 2013, there is no need for a conversation.  You can Google someone, and in about 10 seconds find out what they looks like, what they're listening to, and get a street view of their home.  Creepy.

Don't get me wrong, I LOVE social media. It's my life.  I mean, I am going into public relations.  But I do appreciate a good conversation.  A moment.  For a short period of time -- people conversating, paying attention and really feeling.  Sitting in a room, surrounded by life, and still taking the time to really understand someone.

...Back to this curse that has been placed upon me.  I have this ability to make really great guy friends, and even if it was never going to develop into anything, they just fall off the face of the earth.  No contact.  After weeks or even months of communication -- something happens.  Who knows.  I'm not complaining about the turn of events, but I've noticed the theme.  We meet, we bond, we talk, it ends.

I warned you earlier that this was going to be girly.  I'm sorry.

I've had 20 years of getting to know and love myself.  I haven't had to depend on anyone else, I haven't been forced to chose between a hunky boyfriend and the location of my school.  I've had me, myself and I this whole time.  Although it gets lonely sometimes, it's empowering.  I can enjoy life with various amounts of people, and still come home, curl up on the couch and read a book.  I can go out with friends, meet new people, and live an exciting life.  I'm young and intelligent.  (I'm not bragging, I don't really like to talk myself up, trust me)  To know that there are still women out there like myself who care about others, live life and still are able to stay true to themselves.  It's refreshing.  So often, the media and the everyday occurrences of the 21st century leads people to believe they should act like something their not. Ahem, Catfish, anyone?  I don't care what the critics say, I like who I am.  Someday someone else will too.

And so goes the title of the blog.  One of my favorite novels as a high school teenager was The Perks of Being a Wallflower, and now, as it has been reincarnated into a film -- I still favor it.  The movie is so moving, and relatable   I balled my eyes out in appreciation. Every time.  "We accept the love we think we deserve."  It's so simple, yet so complex.  If we think we're not good enough, we will settle for a love that is not good enough.  If you live your life in the highest manner, then you will receive love in the highest manner.

Be you.  Love yourself.  And don't depend on anyone else to make you who you are.

Life is either a daring adventure or nothing... so, go live the adventure in love, loss and life.